That's a ballgame of a different color, right?

I'm a theatre person, right?  I did my first show at the age of 5 (if I remember correctly). I lost count of the number of shows I have done, but my best estimate is in the high eighties/low nineties.  I feel that's pretty darn respectable, especially considering I took a few multi-year breaks over the span of my theatre "career".  So then doing another show should be a breeze.

Not really.

Honestly, straight plays scare the crap out of me.  I did a number of them years ago. I was... fair.  Pretty much what I did from the time I was 19 until I was 37 were musicals. Lots and lots of musicals. Some good, some great, a few that I will never mention again, and even a couple of small operas.... but all involved singing. I can sing. I know I can do that. Acting is a different matter.

Yes, I know, there is acting involved in musical theatre, but in truth there is a lot less expected from a musical theatre actor than there is from a "straight" actor. (Side note, unrelated: Why is it a "straight play"? Are musicals considered "bent" plays? Ok, digression over.) I have done many shows where the focus has been strictly on the singing. It was completely acceptable if the "actor" simply stood there are sung prettily. (This is not to say that this is ALWAYS the case. I know many musical theatre actors who  are amazing!) In this case, I am not meaning to discus other actors, merely myself.  I feel I can hold my own on stage and create an acceptable character, but I in no way hold any grandiose ideas that I am amazing or professional.

(refocus, back to topic)

Straight plays scare the crap out of me. Did I mention that already? Yep, there it is... two paragraphs up. And here I am embarking on a new one. It's a sizable role too. When I first looked it over I'm sure I blanched a little. Nobody was watching, so I was safe. My first thought? "Holy crap! That's a lot of me on stage." Then I skimmed for monologues. None. This should be a good thing, right?

Wrong.

I like monologues. They are good chunks of time where you are the only one talking. (Duh.) This means you can't really screw anyone else up. Oh, and you don't have to wait for someone else to cue your next line. I like this.  It's like memorizing a good little tale and then being the storyteller.

There are no monologues. Just lots of little lines. Some very interesting little lines. Many of them very important. Many of them numbers. Oh lord. Did I mention I'm a little nervous about it? Yeah, I am. Maybe I can convince them to throw a little song and dance number in there.

Ok, I can do this. Just bear with me. This may come up again later. In the meantime, if anyone feels like starting a petition to get me a quick little song tossed in feel free. Just make sure you get a decent amount of names and then address the petition to Soozie. Thanks! Wish me luck.

- B

I find happiness in the little things.

Today was a good day.  A day spent with friends playing games and enjoying company, followed by dinner. Games went well, friends headed home, and now it's time for dinner.


So, there I am standing at the stove. The ground beef is almost done browning along with a little bit of onions.  Off on my left I have a small bowl filled with half a cup of water, some Worcestershire sauce, brown sugar, a dash of vinegar and some tomato paste.  On my right there are two small children eagerly looking at what is in the pot, wondering when dinner will be ready.

I find myself simply happy.  This is what I had been missing.

I missed all the beginnings the first time around. Heck, I missed practically everything. But now I have a chance to do it right.

It is the look of expectancy, of excitement. It is the sense of completeness.

This is a family. This is where I am supposed to be.

I am happy. I am home.

There are times where it is far too easy to just sit.  Sit and do nothing.

In times of stress it is easy to shut down.  For a while it helps and that can give your brain a little time to heal, or at least to catch up.

Shut down time needs to be done.  Things need to get going and moving.  The hard  part is getting the impetus us to start all over again. 

It needs to be remembered that it is not a complete restart.  Things have not stopped.  Life still goes on.  It is instead a matter of refocusing the potential energy into something else.  Something that moves forward, rather than remaining suspended in mid-air.

That is what it has been.  A suspension.  Not the bottom of a hill, but rather a pause mid-flight.  It's not the journey that is feared, rather the remembrance of the chaos that comes with it.

Double standard #46

Ok.... so I am waiting for the children to finish their breakfast so we can head off to the farmer's market. Since I figure I have a few spare minutes I decided to actually iron my kilt and starch the pleats so it holds them better and that leads me to wondering.... How many times will I be asked today if I am wearing the kilt without anything underneath?

Which of course made me then wonder... Why is it considered appropriate to ask men if they are wearing anything under their kilt?

If I were to walk up to a woman I don't know and say, "So, are you wearing any panties today?" I would at minimum be considered a pervert.  Most likely I would get either yelled at or slapped.  And what if I walked up to a strange woman and said, "I'll give you a dollar if you aren't wearing panties?"  Might I get arrested to harassment, or even solicitation?  The funny part is, that last line was said to me (minus the word "panties") as Samantha and I were walking in West Seattle a week or so ago. 

There is no real rant here.  Rather, I just find it to be yet another interesting double standard that is held between the genders.

Any comments? (Note: I didn't say "questions" for those who would ask the obvious.)

A year in the life...

     Well,  I will admit that it has been ages since I have even attempted to write a post for this blog.  The last draft I have saved is dated back from February. Ok, Tolstoy I am not.


     It has been nearly a year since we have moved to Seattle.  I have found that I enjoy living near the city. For a guy who grew up in a town with less than 20,000 people it surprised me as to how much like it here.  Unfortunately now on the one year anniversary of the move we are moving again.  The move itself is not a bad thing, simply one that was unexpected. Life moves in ways that I do not claim to understand. I am just trying to go along and see where it takes me.

     So, back to Fircrest we go. This time however it is a different move.  We are moving into the house together, not just one person moving into another's space, but two people moving in and creating the space as a couple. It will be a new experience for the both of us.  Picking paint. Choosing carpet. Landscaping. Restoring with both our ideas.  I look forward to the challenge.  This will be our chance to make it a home for us, for our family.

     When I purchased the house fourteen years ago I was an entirely different person.  Funny enough I never even had a house warming party.  Over the next thirteen years of living there many friends never even saw the place. It was as if my place was merely a legend, one that only few saw and even fewer visited.  Not this time.  The intention is to make it ready for guests quickly and to have people over frequently.  One downside of moving to Seattle was that we had so many friends down here who we already saw infrequently enough. The move only made the visits even father apart.  Thankfully we made some good friends in Seattle, but in moving back down we will make it a point to see everyone more often.  Invites will come more frequently, so be sure to watch for them.  Better yet.... please call.  Come over.  Make plans.

     We are making sure this move becomes a positive thing.  Life goes on.  Things change.  We adapt and live our lives the best we can.  Please join us.

The first time...

Some are unable to take criticism well and if you are one such person and find yourself within this writing, then I give mild apology. I have just reached the point where I need to say something, yet it is not my place to say it to anyone within the group I am working with. So, instead I will say it here to get it off my chest and hopefully just get rid of some frustration. If I manage to offend and ostracize myself from the group, well, such is the risk I take.

Do you know how many days until we open? Not two weeks, but NINE days. Come two days from now it will only be a week. To say that I am a little nervous is an understatement. This is one of the first times that I have truly wondered if a show will work or simply crash and burn. Show me why, you ask…. ok, just listen.

So, here goes… The story of the show is a serious one. It is a tale of one man's depravity and how he takes from the world, yet never acknowledges his wrong doing. There is murder, rape, deception, coercion, vengeance, demons, and eventually a descent into hell. Needless to say this is intended to be serious material. Now, within any show of such depth there is always at least one character that is intended to bring a bit of levity so as not to let the audience wallow in how heavy and depressing the show can be. Understandable? I feel so, but we have descended into the land of shtick. All that seems to be missing is a little slapstick and, as mentioned to me earlier, the inclusion of the Keystone cops. Every time where subtlety would be appropriate it seems that we are simply slapping the audience in the face with a humor stick. Each time that happens all the tension in the scene disappears and it gives the audience a reason to disengage from the story.

And then there is focus. How hard is it to simply listen to directions, follow instructions, do your part, and when the director says "focus" to shut the fuck up? I have spent the past ten years working with ten year olds and my average class of 30 can get quiet and remain so far better than 17 adults on a stage can. Really? If your intention is to put on a professional show then….. ACT LIKE A PROFESSIONAL! I am all for play. Hell, you can frequently find me messing around (when the time is appropriate), but if it is time to work, then let's just work. There is little enough time to put the show together if we are on task, let alone if half of our time is wasted by diddling around on stage. When a scene ends, stop. Wait. Listen for commentary from the director. Reset if needed and go on. Do not assume that just because you are no longer "acting" that it gives you license to flap your mouth, flail your arms, and otherwise be a distraction. If the scene is continuing then pay attention. Watch the other actors. Support them. As soon as your mouth opens you are telling them that you really don't give a crap about what they are doing.

Really it all comes down to respect. Have respect for the stage. Have respect for the director. Have respect for the time. Have respect for yourself as an actor. But mostly, have respect for the show. It is a brand new piece that needs to be put together carefully, not just thrown together haphazardly. Make it work, make it fun, make it amazing. Create. Be artists. Don't waste your time, or my time, or the director's time, or especially the audience's time. That is my fear. I am afraid that people will come and say, "Why did I bother?"

That's pretty much it. Those are my main gripes. Again, if I offend I am sorry, but if you don't like my opinion I truly don't care. It is what it is.

Something New

Two weeks into Seattle life and I already find that Tacoma feels different.  

Twenty years ago I came to Tacoma to go to college and swore that after four years I would be headed back south as soon as I was done with my degree.  Instead I ended up staying and life continued on.  T-town became my home and I adapted to what was city-life in comparison to my small-town upbringing in Forest Grove.   Coming from a 1990 population of 13,599 (according to the 1990 Census) to an area with 176,664 people was a bit of an adjustment.  Over time I found that I enjoyed this area and the abundance of people that were here. It took me a while, but I fully adapted to the Tacoma way of life.

 Over the next sixteen years I explored the area and found so many things about Tacoma that I like. The public blueberry park in East Tacoma, the myriad of trails out in Point Defiance Park, the campus of U.W.T. and how it has led to the resurrection of downtown, Wright Park, Thea Foss Waterfront, Fujiya (The BEST sushi in Tacoma), and so many other places. There are so many things to do in T-town that I am surprised that people don't know about them all.
And now here I am only two weeks into Seattle, and I find that I already feel more at home here in this limited time than I did for the first ten years in Tacoma. Seattle, in comparison to Tacoma is huge, 617,334 according to last estimates prior to the 2010 US Census. I know that I have been ready for a change for years, and it seems as if this is exactly the change I have needed.

A few days ago I took a day off of work, as everyone was sick (including myself), and drove through West Seattle in search of an Office Depot. I found myself looking around and, despite my unpleasant physical state, I realized I was just "happy". I wanted to explore the area and see what it was about this space that made me feel instantly comfortable. I have yet to have the chance to do that, but I am looking forward to the chances that I will have later.

Just today Samantha and had the chance to swing by Lincoln Park and I can already tell that I'll be able to get all my nature-fixes I need out there. Apparently there is even a huge, heated salt-water pool. I am so intrigued by that. Trails criss-cross the park and there is a large amount of beachfront property to walk as well. I am already imagining family picnics and all those things that make great memories. Even better, it's just a short hop down the 54 bus line, which means driving won't even be necessary.

And then there are all the junctions, these wonder intersections of little shops, restaurants, cafes, and just cool places to poke through. I have a feeling I (We) will be spending a fair amount of time there. Granted, if we're not careful, we'll probably be spending a fair amount of money too. Gotta watch that part.

So many things to see. So many things to do. I think I'll survive. In the meantime I will just continue to marvel at the feel of the space. It has somehow managed to quickly become "Home."