That's a ballgame of a different color, right?

I'm a theatre person, right?  I did my first show at the age of 5 (if I remember correctly). I lost count of the number of shows I have done, but my best estimate is in the high eighties/low nineties.  I feel that's pretty darn respectable, especially considering I took a few multi-year breaks over the span of my theatre "career".  So then doing another show should be a breeze.

Not really.

Honestly, straight plays scare the crap out of me.  I did a number of them years ago. I was... fair.  Pretty much what I did from the time I was 19 until I was 37 were musicals. Lots and lots of musicals. Some good, some great, a few that I will never mention again, and even a couple of small operas.... but all involved singing. I can sing. I know I can do that. Acting is a different matter.

Yes, I know, there is acting involved in musical theatre, but in truth there is a lot less expected from a musical theatre actor than there is from a "straight" actor. (Side note, unrelated: Why is it a "straight play"? Are musicals considered "bent" plays? Ok, digression over.) I have done many shows where the focus has been strictly on the singing. It was completely acceptable if the "actor" simply stood there are sung prettily. (This is not to say that this is ALWAYS the case. I know many musical theatre actors who  are amazing!) In this case, I am not meaning to discus other actors, merely myself.  I feel I can hold my own on stage and create an acceptable character, but I in no way hold any grandiose ideas that I am amazing or professional.

(refocus, back to topic)

Straight plays scare the crap out of me. Did I mention that already? Yep, there it is... two paragraphs up. And here I am embarking on a new one. It's a sizable role too. When I first looked it over I'm sure I blanched a little. Nobody was watching, so I was safe. My first thought? "Holy crap! That's a lot of me on stage." Then I skimmed for monologues. None. This should be a good thing, right?

Wrong.

I like monologues. They are good chunks of time where you are the only one talking. (Duh.) This means you can't really screw anyone else up. Oh, and you don't have to wait for someone else to cue your next line. I like this.  It's like memorizing a good little tale and then being the storyteller.

There are no monologues. Just lots of little lines. Some very interesting little lines. Many of them very important. Many of them numbers. Oh lord. Did I mention I'm a little nervous about it? Yeah, I am. Maybe I can convince them to throw a little song and dance number in there.

Ok, I can do this. Just bear with me. This may come up again later. In the meantime, if anyone feels like starting a petition to get me a quick little song tossed in feel free. Just make sure you get a decent amount of names and then address the petition to Soozie. Thanks! Wish me luck.

- B

I find happiness in the little things.

Today was a good day.  A day spent with friends playing games and enjoying company, followed by dinner. Games went well, friends headed home, and now it's time for dinner.


So, there I am standing at the stove. The ground beef is almost done browning along with a little bit of onions.  Off on my left I have a small bowl filled with half a cup of water, some Worcestershire sauce, brown sugar, a dash of vinegar and some tomato paste.  On my right there are two small children eagerly looking at what is in the pot, wondering when dinner will be ready.

I find myself simply happy.  This is what I had been missing.

I missed all the beginnings the first time around. Heck, I missed practically everything. But now I have a chance to do it right.

It is the look of expectancy, of excitement. It is the sense of completeness.

This is a family. This is where I am supposed to be.

I am happy. I am home.